Thursday, January 12, 2012

Obedience in Marriage, Part 2

This is part 2 of a series of posts adapted from my messages to The Embassy last month titled “The Challenge of Obedience for Wives” and “The Challenge of Obedience for Husbands” from 1 Peter 3:1-7.  You can read part 1 here.

1Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2when they see your respectful and pure conduct. 3Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— 4but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. 5For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 6as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.
7Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
1 Peter 3:1-7

In part 1 of this series I gave an overview of Biblical and manhood and womanhood and addressed the issue of wife’s calling to submit to her own husband’s leadership in marriage.  Today I want to address something else Peter mentioned in 1 Peter 3:1-2.
1Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2when they see your respectful and pure conduct.

Peter says to be subject to, to submit, to your own husband so that even if your husband does not obey the Word he may be won over by your behavior. This is in line with the teaching of this whole section of 1 Peter dealing with governments, bosses, and the example of Jesus. In chapter 2 verse 12 Peter wrote, “Keep your conduct among the Gentiles honorable, so that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day of visitation.” The idea is that as we proclaim the truth of the gospel we must also live lives that reflect the gospel we are proclaiming. Our lives must imitate Jesus’ life if people are going to believe our message whether we are imitating Jesus in our marriage, in the workplace, or in our nation.

Since most of the people in The Embassy are not yet married I think I need to address the issue of dating and marrying non-believers. Peter is not telling single women to go out and marry a non-believer so that you can win him over by your submission. At the time Peter wrote this letter the Christian faith was only about 30 years old and it took a number of years to spread to the regions listed in verse 1 of 1 Peter. The wives Peter was writing to here were most likely married before they became believers.
 
Ladies, please do not date and do not marry men who are not followers of Jesus. Men, please do not date and do not marry women who are not followers of Jesus. You’re not going to lose your salvation if you do but you are most likely setting yourself up for a lifetime of hardship, frustration, and hurt if you do.

Most importantly, in all likelihood your ministry will be greatly hampered for the rest of your life. Being a follower of Jesus is not just a part of your life, not just something you believe in, it is to be your entire life. A non-believer is going to have a completely different worldview and purpose in life. Ladies, you’re looking for a man who will be the spiritual leader of your home and family, and a man who does not know Jesus cannot be the spiritual leader. Men, you’re looking for a woman who will follow your leadership and help you in your calling. Maggie and I come from very different backgrounds and cultures and that does create some tension in our marriage, but we agree that our lives and our marriage exist for the purpose of glorifying God and being used by God for the advancement of His Kingdom.

2 Corinthians 6:14-18 reads:

14Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? 15What accord has Christ with Belial?b Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever? 16What agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; as God said,
“I will make my dwelling among them and walk among them,
and I will be their God,
and they shall be my people.
17 Therefore go out from their midst,
and be separate from them, says the Lord,
and touch no unclean thing;
then I will welcome you,
18 and I will be a father to you,
and you shall be sons and daughters to me,
says the Lord Almighty.”

Numerous Old Testament passages reveal that God did not permit the Israelites to marry non-Israelites (Deuteronomy 7:3, Joshua 23:12, Ezra 9:2, Nehemiah 13:25).  The purpose of the prohibition was not maintaining purity in the bloodlines of the people of Israel, but maintaining purity in the worship of God among the people of Israel.  If you claim to be a follower of Jesus you should take something that is so clearly established in the Old Testament Law, history, and New Testament very seriously. 

Men, pursue and marry women who love Jesus. 

Ladies, do not be tempted to enter into a relationship with a non-believer.  Please don’t let a relationship with a non-believer go on hoping that he’ll come to faith.  Jeremiah 17:9 says, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?”  Do not put yourself in a position where you might give your heart to an unbelieving man and will make decisions with life-long consequences.  Trust God and wait for a man who loves Jesus and will be the spiritual leader of your family.  Remember that your hope and your faith are in God, not in having a husband.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Obedience in Marriage, Part 1

It’s been a while since I’ve updated the blog.  Over the next few days I’ll be posting some updates taken from the messages I delivered last month at The Embassy from 1 Peter 3:1-7 titled, “The Challenge of Obedience for Wives” and “The Challenge of Obedience for Husbands”.  

1Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2when they see your respectful and pure conduct. 3Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— 4but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. 5For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 6as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.
7Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
1 Peter 3:1-7

In verses 1-2 of chapter 3, Peter wrote, “Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct.”  In our post-modern culture this sounds terrible.  And I mean I could be sued or fired from a job in America for sexual discrimination terrible.

So before we go any further I think we need to establish a few things, beginning with the fact that we always read passages in the Bible in their context.  That means we examine a passage in light of the passages that precede and follow, in light of the book of the Bible in which they are found, and in light of other teachings in the whole Bible on that topic.  We also have to do some work to understand the culture of the audience that the letter was originally written to. 

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Fleshly Lusts Which Wage War Against the Soul


Beloved, I urge you as aliens and strangers to abstain from fleshly lusts which wage war against the soul.
1 Peter 2:11

Why does Peter say fleshly lusts wage war against the soul?  Because the result of war is death and the result of sin, fleshly lusts, is death.

Let’s go back to the first sin in human history.

Now the serpent was more crafty than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made. And he said to the woman, “Indeed, has God said, ‘You shall not eat from any tree of the garden’?” The woman said to the serpent, “From the fruit of the trees of the garden we may eat; but from the fruit of the tree which is in the middle of the garden, God has said, ‘You shall not eat from it or touch it, or you will die.’” The serpent said to the woman, “You surely will not die! “For God knows that in the day you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took from its fruit and ate; and she gave also to her husband with her, and he ate. Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loin coverings.

God had created a good world, given Adam and Eve everything they needed for an abundant life, put them together naked in paradise and essentially said, “Have fun!  Just don’t eat the fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil or you will die.”  Satan came along and told them they wouldn’t die but would be like God.  They believed Satan over God and chose death over life.  We’ve all been doing the same ever since.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Abstain from Fleshly Lusts


Beloved, I urge you as aliens and strangers to abstain from fleshly lusts which wage war against the soul.
1 Peter 2:11

Paradox is defined as a statement or proposition that seems self-contradictory or absurd but in reality expresses a possible truth.  If you want to understand the Bible you must understand paradox.  Some examples:

Do you want to be first?  Be last.

Do you want to be the greatest? Be least.

Do you want to find life? Lose the one you have.

Have you wondered why people in the church fight over the “conflicting” ideas of election and free will?  Because evidence for both is in the Bible.

These are all examples of paradox.  There is also paradox in the fact that we cannot earn God’s favor or our salvation with our good behavior or service to the Kingdom of God, but that as recipients of God’s grace we are expected to behave in accordance with God’s commands and serve His Kingdom.

One of the major themes of Peter’s letter is the alien status of believers (addressed in the previous post, found here).  In this verse, which was just a sentence in the original letter without a chapter and verse to identify it, Peter is setting up an entire section on how we are to live in an environment hostile to the faith.  Here he reminds his readers that since we are only here for a short time, we should abstain from temporary sinful pleasures in expectation of something much greater. 

What are fleshly lusts? Read Galatians 5:19-21.

Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of which I forewarn you, just as I have forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

We know from the whole of Scripture that when Paul writes “those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God” he does not mean that if you do these things you will not be saved or if you do not do any of these things you will be saved.  No, he is merely giving a list of the characteristics common to those who do not believe in Jesus, whose hearts are not being transformed by the Holy Spirit and conformed to the likeness of Christ.  There are many people who do not display any of these characteristics who will still not see Heaven because they have never known Jesus.    

Now contrast the above list with what Paul wrote in the next three verses of Galatians 5:

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

This does not mean that Christians never sin or will always display the fruit of the Spirit.  In Romans 7 Paul detailed his ongoing battle between his old sin nature and new Christ nature.  The life of a believer should, however, be characterized by movement away from sinful desires towards the character of Christ, who was without sin; had compassion on the poor, the sick, etc.; and ultimately sacrificed His life for the church in submission to the will of the Father.      

In the verse from 1 Peter, Peter urges believers to abstain from fleshly lusts.  He would not have written those words if he assumed that no Christians would sin.  He is reminding his readers that we are in a battle.  Followers of Christ are playing a part in the ultimate battle between good and evil with nothing less than the salvation of people’s eternal souls at stake.  In the midst of the battle we all face an internal battle with sin in our own lives that affects our role in the larger battle. 

I’ll examine both of those battles in upcoming posts, but today I want to leave you with some questions: 

Which of the two lists above (the deeds of the flesh or the fruit of the Spirit) is more characteristic of your life? 

Do you see a progression in your life being less like the first list and more like the second? 

Thursday, November 10, 2011

As Aliens and Strangers


Beloved, I urge you as aliens and strangers to abstain from fleshly lusts which wage war against the soul.
1 Peter 2:11


If you’re living for fleshly lusts you are wasting your life.

Why? Because everything you know right now apart from Jesus is temporary.  Pleasure is temporary.  Wealth is temporary.  Family relationships are temporary.  Achievements are temporary.  Status and fame are temporary.  Everything you can see, smell, touch, taste, hear, and feel, every thought and idea, everything but Jesus is temporary.

It’s not just that you can’t take it with you either.  Read 2 Peter 3:10.

But the day of the Lord will come like a thief, in which the heavens will pass away with a roar and the elements will be destroyed with intense heat, and the earth and its works will be burned up.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

The Type of Guy You Should Want to Marry, Part 2



6. You should want to marry a guy that inspires you to be the best “you” you can be.

I’m going to depart from Julie and Maggie’s notes here and give you the Bible teachers explanation of this statement.  Only Jesus can make you a better you.  You can’t.  Your boyfriend/fiancĂ©/husband can’t.  You’re looking for a man who constantly points you to Jesus.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

The Type of Guy You Should Want to Marry, Part 1


The following list was presented to the ladies of The Embassy by Julie Schulze on November 3.  What follows is a combination of her notes, Maggie’s notes, and my thoughts.  Today’s post contains numbers one through five of ten characteristics you should want in a husband.  Numbers six through ten will be posted tomorrow.  

1. You should want to marry a guy that displays a high level of commitment to your relationship.

Every couple will be “incompatible” in some areas.  I’ve heard it said that anybody who has been married for more than 15 minutes has grounds for divorce.  I told Maggie early in our dating relationship that I don’t believe in divorce.  Not that I don’t believe it happens, but that Biblically if we were to marry I don’t think we should ever divorce.  We’re committed to making the marriage work no matter what.  Ephesians 5:22-33 describes marriage as a picture of the relationship between Christ and the church.  Christ left eternal glory to live and then die a horrible death on the earth to restore the church’s broken relationship with God.  That is the standard that a husband should have for commitment to the relationship.