Obedience in Marriage, Part 2

This is part 2 of a series of posts adapted from my messages to The Embassy last month titled “The Challenge of Obedience for Wives” and “The Challenge of Obedience for Husbands” from 1 Peter 3:1-7.  You can read part 1 here.

1Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2when they see your respectful and pure conduct. 3Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— 4but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. 5For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 6as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.

7Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

1 Peter 3:1-7

In part 1 of this series I gave an overview of Biblical and manhood and womanhood and addressed the issue of wife’s calling to submit to her own husband’s leadership in marriage.  Today I want to address something else Peter mentioned in 1 Peter 3:1-2.

1Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2when they see your respectful and pure conduct.

Peter says to be subject to, to submit, to your own husband so that even if your husband does not obey the Word he may be won over by your behavior. This is in line with the teaching of this whole section of 1 Peter dealing with governments, bosses, and the example of Jesus. In chapter 2 verse 12 Peter wrote, “Keep your conduct among the Gentiles honorable, so that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day of visitation.” The idea is that as we proclaim the truth of the gospel we must also live lives that reflect the gospel we are proclaiming. Our lives must imitate Jesus’ life if people are going to believe our message whether we are imitating Jesus in our marriage, in the workplace, or in our nation.

Since most of the people in The Embassy are not yet married I think I need to address the issue of dating and marrying non-believers. Peter is not telling single women to go out and marry a non-believer so that you can win him over by your submission. At the time Peter wrote this letter the Christian faith was only about 30 years old and it took a number of years to spread to the regions listed in verse 1 of 1 Peter. The wives Peter was writing to here were most likely married before they became believers.

 

Ladies, please do not date and do not marry men who are not followers of Jesus. Men, please do not date and do not marry women who are not followers of Jesus. You’re not going to lose your salvation if you do but you are most likely setting yourself up for a lifetime of hardship, frustration, and hurt if you do.

Most importantly, in all likelihood your ministry will be greatly hampered for the rest of your life. Being a follower of Jesus is not just a part of your life, not just something you believe in, it is to be your entire life. A non-believer is going to have a completely different worldview and purpose in life. Ladies, you’re looking for a man who will be the spiritual leader of your home and family, and a man who does not know Jesus cannot be the spiritual leader. Men, you’re looking for a woman who will follow your leadership and help you in your calling. Maggie and I come from very different backgrounds and cultures and that does create some tension in our marriage, but we agree that our lives and our marriage exist for the purpose of glorifying God and being used by God for the advancement of His Kingdom.

2 Corinthians 6:14-18 reads:

14Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? 15What accord has Christ with Belial?^b Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever? 16What agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; as God said,

“I will make my dwelling among them and walk among them,
and I will be their God,
and they shall be my people.
17 Therefore go out from their midst,
and be separate from them, says the Lord,
and touch no unclean thing;
then I will welcome you,
18 and I will be a father to you,
and you shall be sons and daughters to me,
says the Lord Almighty.”

Numerous Old Testament passages reveal that God did not permit the Israelites to marry non-Israelites (Deuteronomy 7:3, Joshua 23:12, Ezra 9:2, Nehemiah 13:25).  The purpose of the prohibition was not maintaining purity in the bloodlines of the people of Israel, but maintaining purity in the worship of God among the people of Israel.  If you claim to be a follower of Jesus you should take something that is so clearly established in the Old Testament Law, history, and New Testament very seriously. 

Men, pursue and marry women who love Jesus. 

Ladies, do not be tempted to enter into a relationship with a non-believer.  Please don’t let a relationship with a non-believer go on hoping that he’ll come to faith.  Jeremiah 17:9 says, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?”  Do not put yourself in a position where you might give your heart to an unbelieving man and will make decisions with life-long consequences.  Trust God and wait for a man who loves Jesus and will be the spiritual leader of your family.  Remember that your hope and your faith are in God, not in having a husband.

Obedience in Marriage, Part 1

It’s been a while since I’ve updated the blog.  Over the next few days I’ll be posting some updates taken from the messages I delivered last month at The Embassy from 1 Peter 3:1-7 titled, “The Challenge of Obedience for Wives” and “The Challenge of Obedience for Husbands”.  

1Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2when they see your respectful and pure conduct. 3Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— 4but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. 5For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 6as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.

7Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

1 Peter 3:1-7

In verses 1-2 of chapter 3, Peter wrote, “Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct.”  In our post-modern culture this sounds terrible.  And I mean I could be sued or fired from a job in America for sexual discrimination terrible.

So before we go any further I think we need to establish a few things, beginning with the fact that we always read passages in the Bible in their context.  That means we examine a passage in light of the passages that precede and follow, in light of the book of the Bible in which they are found, and in light of other teachings in the whole Bible on that topic.  We also have to do some work to understand the culture of the audience that the letter was originally written to.